Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Plan B

When I was growing up the options were not there for me like they were for my children.
Or maybe they were there for others, but not for me. My goal in life was to get married like my sisters did and raise a family.

As a young person I tried my hand at beauty college, but did not finish because I was needed to help out my sister who had major surgery. While visiting her in the hospital I met a nursing assistant who was bed-bathing her. We talked and I thought that this would be a great job, one in which you really felt like you were helping.

So after my sister recovered I checked out the local hospital. They had a CNA class starting and my sister spotted me the cash for new white shoes. The hospital provided the uniforms.

I completed the course and began working for the same hospital in which I was born. I started out on the adult surgical unit for the probationary time, then transferred to the Pediatric Unit.
Nice.....I saw a lot of things, some sad, some happy.

This is where I met my husband. Things progressed and I was married a month before I turned 20. I know....way too young. But remember, that was the plan since I was little. We started a family right away and we had 7 children in 8 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah we know what caused it.

By the age of 28 I had 7 children. Sounds like a lot but I had sisters who also had large families so it didn't feel like a lot. (2 with 7 children each and one with 10 children)

Plan A went well. We never had a lot of money to do much with and we often had very simple meals. The children did not have the best or the newest, but they had some things. My goal was to give them opportunities we did not have. Music, sports, college-bound if they chose.

Then Plan B: As the children grew I felt I wanted to do more in the nursing field. I went to college and tried my hand at schooling. I could only go part-time and lost a lot of sleep to studies. I tried to be there as much as I could for the children but they often had no guidance for home work. They managed through school and on with their own lives. Some college, some missions, some work, some children.

Whenever there is a choice there is a sacrifice. My having so many children in such a short time led to the sacrifice of not having much one-on-one time with any of them and not having much money, ergo things. The sacrifice of me going to school was that I did not have a lot of time with them because I was working and going to school. So you see, it was not just me sacrificing but the entire family made the sacrifice.

Now plan B is working out just fine because I am at the time of my life that it is paying off. But all those sacrifices are things I cannot go back and change. You cannot get back time. You cannot raise a grown child.

Plan A & Plan B? It would have been nice if I did plan B first and had the wonderful life it held in promise, but I chose plan A first and had the wonderful life I had. I met the right man and we had the wonderful children we had, and now have wonderful grandchildren. The choice was the right one for me, sacrifices and all.

My advice to young people is to make a plan, work it, and change what needs to be changed. It is called LIFE. Don't miss it. There is no perfect life. Follow your heart, your dream, and your promptings. The only thing constant is Change. Roll with them. 'Nuff said.

5 comments:

purplehaze said...

Wow Patricia you always have a way with words and always something said gets me choked up! Life is funny sometimes and yes sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to have goals.

Ruthykins said...

hi, i'm home now.

Laurie said...

Glad I found you in blogland. You are always the funnest person to talk to and I love the way you phrase things. Now I can check in and get fixes throughout the week.

Totally cracking up about the CPR "lower" episode.

Puphigirl said...

So now I'm following in your footsteps. Got married, had kids. Years later going back to school. When you talk about sacrificing time away from family, you are preaching to the choir here.

purplehaze said...

I made you get a tissue huh!! I love your picture of you and Sam very nice. Thanks for the comments. Yeah I couldn't believe he said that either, Men they are funny sometimes.